Ace Redford's Journal
by RaduGeorge
Summary: The journal of a 25 year old man that lives in San Andreas and looks to turn what is left of his old life around, going against violence of any kind. But now with a very dramatical turn, the past comes back to haunt his present.
1. 22-April-2014

22-April-2014

It's been two weeks now since I lost my original journal. Maybe that's the thing with going old style sometimes; things are easier to lose when having to carry them in hand rather than just send them over from one computer to another. But I still prefer the old pen and a piece of paper in front of me rather than a plastic keyboard and the cold light coming from a computer screen.

I started selling some of the things I managed to collect in San Andreas so far, amongst which my cabin in Fort Carson. I needed to move to a larger house if I am to take care of a baby girl, even if on my own if I have to. Also I know that if I had to fight for that child in court, a cabin with a single room wouldn't seem like the best place to raise a child. Besides, I couldn't stay there anymore… even after so long, the house still smelled like _her_.

Seems like I'll be sleeping in my office until I manage to sell my truck as well and maybe a few other things, then maybe I'd afford a better house. I would like to buy a house here in San Fierro, somewhere in Ocean Flats maybe. That really seems like a nice, peaceful neighborhood, and although San Fierro is not as peaceful as Fort Carson or other small towns in the North, it's still ten times better than the rush hours in Los Santos. I think a little girl would live to grow up in such a neighborhood.

Amongst the cabin, old combat armours and other stuff, I sold the last gun from my stash today. And I hope I don't have to see such a weapon again, or any weapon for that matter. I'm done with violence; I'm done with judging who deserves to live and who deserves to die. After all, it's easy to take a life; it's much harder to give life. Some that are alive deserve death, some that are dead deserve life… can any of us give it to them? No one should ever judge in life or death.

Now sitting here at night in my office, everything seems a bit calmer. Although yesterday I was ready to end my life, now thinking about my daughter that is about to get born I found something to fight for and have a reason to make plans for the future. And I will do my best to make sure all those plans come true, for me and for her.

* * *

**A note from the author: This is the first entry in Ace Redford's journal, a character built over two years of role play on a San Andreas Multiplayer. However this story does not belong to the year San Andreas is supposed to exist in, but the curent modern world and time. This will remain as a journal, and I will try to make as many entries in it as days of actual role play of the character. Enjoy reading.**

**Radu George**


	2. 23-April-2014

23-April-2014

Today I was close to making a few bad deals when selling what I have left to dispose of, yet I managed to back down from each bad deal. But that still leaves me with things I need to sell and not enough money to afford a better house. But I guess that will come in time. I still have somewhere around four months until the baby is born, so there is enough time to get me settled. I just can't wait to actually be fully settled and then look for more business opportunities.

I talked to Tyrone today… at first he was reluctant to it, but he wanted to hear me out after all. Given all that we've been through, he felt like he owed me that much. I told him that me and Sakura broke up-… well; she broke up with me to be more precise. It wasn't like I didn't try to do it myself three times before, but each time just seeing her face I couldn't get the words that needed be said out of my mouth. I just couldn't bear losing her. Well, it seemed easier for her since it took her one attempt to do so.

Tyrone thought that I was on her and Ryan's side. I told him that never since I came back was I on their side, that's what tore us apart after all. She feared too much to be taken as a joke, to be stepped over, and thought that only trough power one can overcome those that try to step over you. I agreed to that, but it was different types of power we had in mind. I thought that trough the power of an opened mind and soul one can accomplish that, she thought it was trough the power of guns and influence, and who can do more damage to the opposite side.

I actually waited to see if he says it himself before expressing my opinion that Ryan poisoned Sakura's mind to a point where I couldn't help her anymore. And he did, Tyrone said it out loud with his own mouth. That gives me some peace of mind and another concern at the same time. At least now I know I was right, and it wasn't just me thinking that he influenced her in a very bad way, but he actually dug his nails so deep into her that it was too late to change something. But at the same time it brings me more guilt thinking that maybe if I would have intervened at the right time, maybe I could have showed her the errors of her ways. But would she have listened?

After hearing the story of how it went down from my own mouth, Tyrone stopped thinking that I abandoned him and our friendship for what it meant. He actually said that I should have let him kill Ryan when he had the chance. I know now that it wouldn't have been the right thing to do. Taking the seat of the killer yourself just to bring down the former tyrant is no improvement at all. But I do sometimes come to question it… would it really not have been much easier if we would have killed Ryan when we had the chance? Maybe Sakura would have understood what she was signing up for; maybe she would have opened her eyes. And not only that… all the contracts Ryan took out, all those people he killed, some of them along with Sakura. All the people he is going to kill in the future… I claim that human life is the most precious thing, and that no one has the right to take that, but what if another human life comes in the balance? What if ten do? Or one hundred for that matter...

I don't think it matters anymore. Not to me at least. Call me a coward, but I won't become a killer again, and I very well know that I could try to reason with that man for days in a row, he wouldn't change. I actually wondered if I am not the bad guy in all of this. Sakura told me he is supportive of her and cares for her. Maybe it wasn't just the fact that I decided to live a peaceful life, but the fact that I stopped seeming so caring and supportive. One thing I know, I always cared for her. God knows I still do… but how could I have been supportive if I knew she was on her way to killing the innocent girl I fell in love with all those years before?

I know there is few I can do now. I know there is not much sense in felling sorry for myself, or for her in the matter. One thought though is very persistent besides the feelings I have for her that still come haunting me. I managed to drive my thoughts away from that (without any alcohol surprisingly enough) while thinking about my only goal left in life, and that is taking care of my baby girl that will be born in four months. Tough even that comes with a bad thought. Just thinking about how my child grows inside of her, while Ryan, the one that poisoned her mind so much is having sex with her. I swear to God I try to avoid that thought as often as possible, but I can't deny that it absolutely makes me sick to the point where I find myself puking my guts out like I myself were pregnant.

One thing is for certain, although I couldn't save her, every day I find more and more signs of hope for others. Today I think I managed to make Tyrone share my way of thinking when it comes to all the violence and killings. He wants to think the same; I can see it in his eyes. I can sense it in his words that he's had enough, that he's had enough nights of guilt and enough blood on his hands. I know he wants it to end, I know he wants peace. And with God as my witness I will do my best to help him find it. It's a good sign. If two professional killers like us can find peace, then anyone can. I know very well that not everyone wants it tough.

Tyrone said we should start hanging out together again, all of us. Him, me, Olivia, Arthur, Nathaniel… I don't know that much about the rest, but last I heard Arthur was well on his way of starting a peaceful life as well. He thinks of starting up an Ammunation, which seems like a good business to me as long as he only sells legal items. Also I am currently helping him in his presidential campaign. But I will write more about that tomorrow, as I already feel exhausted today. I will be sleeping at Tyrone's place until I manage to buy a house. I really appreciated the gesture, not only that I don't have to sleep in my office, but there is someone to see in the morning that doesn't make me feel so alone.


	3. 24-April-2014

24-April-2014

I don't even know where to start from… one thing is for certain, this one hell of day.

I had a surprise this morning, which if you stop to think about was actually an expected surprise, if something like that even exists. I got the finished divorce papers through the mail today. It's not a surprised that I wasn't called to sign anything, and that is because some one week after I married Sakura, I went to the city hall and filed a pre-signed divorce paper. It might seem odd, why would someone want to do something like that, but I left that pre-signed divorce paper along with a letter which explained my actions. In that letter I told her that this way I spare her a lot of trouble if maybe I change at some point or for any other reason she does not wish to be with me anymore. I told her in that letter that most likely I would not have been able to let go of her, therefore getting me to sign something like that in a dark hour would be something very hard to do.

That leaves me with two things I know almost for certain. One is the fact that given how she likes to leave things for the last possible moment, she and Ryan most likely got married the night before. But besides this I know one more thing, and that is the fact that she found my letter, where over and over again like all the other letters from the past I've left her I go saying how much I care for her and all those romantic lines that we grew up with. But I don't think it made any difference, since I still got that finished divorce paper and most likely she and Ryan are now married.

At least that was what troubled me this morning, and to be honest I thought that would actually be the only major thing I will be writing down this night. That until I got a strange text message while I was doing a few runs with Tyrone to gather some materials we needed. The message itself did not sound so odd, only if my phone wouldn't have recognized the number as belonging to a specific Christian Freeman. It wouldn't have been so odd if I didn't know that person to be dead, more than a month ago, out of the words of Ryan himself, and apparently at his own hand.

So I replied to the text and asked repeatedly who was I speaking to. Until the reply came and I felt my fingers on the phone's keyboard numbing. "Christian Freeman". Of course at starting I didn't believe it, so I told him to come to my office at Missionary Hill. Me and Tyrone drove there as fast as we could, he couldn't believe what I was telling him on the way there either. Until we reached the front gates of Tyrone's complex at Missionary Hill and saw a figure dressed up in torn clothes like the poorest hobo from Los Santos. What made a very odd contrast was the fact that the apparent hobo was driving a NRG 500, the fastest motorcycle known in San Andreas.

So we got out of our car and approached the driver. I kept staring his face down, until I managed to see that pass all that mud and scars, it was indeed the face of my old rival and later ally, Christian Freeman. I don't even recall my words in from moment; I was absolutely shocked to see him alive. One think was for certain, almost like always, Christian was on the run. He couldn't talk then, so he told me to wait for him to contact me. The next moment he just disappeared on his motorcycle down the hill.

Me and Tyrone had to split up after that, he had some business to do with the Richmans, asked me to tell him the story later when he'd get home. So I waited alone in my office. God that waiting was killing me; I think I actually dug a trench in front of my desk just from walking around anxiously. He texted me after some one hour, asked me where I was. I called him to meet me at my office once more. I knew he was familiar with the place, as the lot now owned by Tyrone was previously owned by a group of assassins called The Brotherhood, many of them from the hitman agency.

After he got here I managed to pay more attention to his looks and attire. He smelled as if he didn't take a shower for two months, his clothes were torn up; he was covered in mud… I actually asked him not to sit down because it would have taken me ages to get that smell out of the chairs. It would take me a lot to explain the exchange of words that went on between us, so I will simply have Jasmine write down the exact quotes with minor actions and everything, as everything was recorded by my portable computer and stored into the database of my artificial intelligence.

**Ace Redford**: Try not to sit down. Those chairs are really hard to wash.  
**  
Christian Freeman**: That's rude you cunt.

*Christian Freeman slowly takes out a joint from his pocket as he then uses a Zippo lighter to set its tip on fire.*  
**  
Ace Redford**: What the hell happened to you? Put that out for God's sake!  
**  
Christian Freeman**: Want one too?  
**  
Ace Redford**: No... Now put it out.  
**  
Christian Freeman**: Why?  
**  
Ace Redford**: Because we need to discuss, after that you can get as high as the Empire State Building.  
**  
Christian Freeman**: What do you want to talk about?

*Ace Redford reaches towards the desk and takes a whiskey glass in hand, offering it to Christian afterwards.*

*Christian Freeman slowly lets out a sigh as he takes another puff from the joint before throwing it inside the glass.*

*Ace Redford towards the desk once more and places the glass down on its surface.*

**Ace Redford**: First I want to know what happened to you.

*Ace Redford reaches towards his glasses and takes them off his head, clipping them to his shirt.*  
**  
Christian Freeman**: Well-… my old company fucked me over because of Ryan. All my cars are gone, my house is gone, and I had to hide. Took drugs to relieve the pain I got when I was tortured.  
**  
Ace Redford**: Why did he come after you?

**Christian Freeman**: He hates me. He never came after me personally though. He only got me fired.  
**  
Ace Redford**: Well he brags to have killed you.

**Christian Freeman**: So what do you want to talk about? Look at me, I'm just a fucking hobo trying to get weed to relieve me from my pain.  
**  
Ace Redford**: Cut that crap and pull yourself together Christian. Ryan fucked us all up, me especially.

**Christian Freeman**: Hmph?

**Ace Redford**: Christian... He corrupted Sakura. She's with him now, and he's teaching her to be a hitman.

**Christian Freeman**: You got dumped? It's a hard life. Anyway did you really make me put out my joint for this?  
**  
Ace Redford**: I don't know... I don't care about myself, but more of what he's turning her into.

**Christian Freeman**: And you want me to help her? Look at me! She fucking hates me too. You seriously think that I give a fuck about someone that hates me?  
**  
Ace Redford**: She doesn't hate you Christian, she just used you. I'm sorry to tell you that, but better you hear it from me than from Ryan.  
**  
Christian Freeman**: Used, hate… It's the same.  
**  
Ace Redford**: Not really, but I get your point. So you think Ryan will come after you?

**Christian Freeman**: Nah', he's too high up to deal with shit like this. Only lower people from the company.

**Ace Redford**: You could always come with us; Richmans have no love for the Company.

*Christian Freeman slowly takes off his jacket as he shows Ace his abdomen. His entire stomach would be covered completely with scars, fire burns of the highest degree, gun wounds, knife wounds and sword wounds.*

*Ace Redford looks away briefly and then nods twice after seeing this.*  
**  
Christian Freeman**: And two months ago there wasn't shit on my stomach. Well maybe one or two bullet wounds.

*Christian Freeman slowly closes his jacket again and sigs afterwards.*  
**  
Christian Freeman**: You should hope that I never see Sakura. Because I'm planning to kill her if I see her again.  
**  
Ace Redford**: Christian... she's pregnant.  
**  
Christian Freeman**: I'll personally give her an abortion then. One of the reasons my life is currently like this is because of her.  
**  
Ace Redford**: That's my child we're talking about…  
**  
Christian Freeman**: Do you think that I care about you, Sakura or your child?!

**Ace Redford**: You think it wasn't hard for me? For the moment I'm here to help you, and I'm telling you I know what you're going trough.

**Christian Freeman**: Shut the fuck up and don't talk about hard. What you had to go through is nothing compared to me.  
**  
Ace Redford**: Christian you have any idea how it is to know you've lost person you loved and still love most in your life?!  
**  
Christian Freeman**: It happened more than once to me. I even had to kill people I loved! Don't you dare thing we are the same!  
**  
Ace Redford**: Fine, we'll drop the topic then and assume you're going trough far worse. So what are you going to do in that case?  
**  
Christian Freeman**: You should just wait. Eventually the Company will fire Ryan. Then hope that the new person in charge of San Andreas doesn't let Ryan work for him. When that time comes you can finish him without problems.  
**  
Ace Redford**: I'm not looking for revenge Christian. I've put my guns down, for good. All I care about right now is taking care of my baby girl that is about to get born. And help as many people as I can.  
**  
Christian Freeman**: You're just scared that Sakura will hate you if you kill Ryan. But in the meantime you cry to others about corruption. Want to take care of your baby girl? Then kidnap Sakura, take her away from Ryan. That way she can't be ''corrupted''. By the way, the entire time I was hanging with Sakura trying to get her I had a girl friend. I knew she was using me, but I allowed her that to try and get closer to her. Sorry to tell you but I was aiming for her, do you seriously think that I was that dumb not to notice all her actions? I just tried to get a second bitch, because the first one started to bore me out.  
**  
Ace Redford**: Right... so you're trying to get me to give up on you as well, right? Well that ain't goanna' happen.  
**  
Christian Freeman**: I don't care if you give up on me or not. There's only one thing I want, and that's to ride on a NRG and smoke weed.  
**  
Ace Redford**: You really think you can do that forever?  
**  
Christian Freeman**: 'Till I die-… Yes.

**Ace Redford**: And don't you think all you did in life, all the torture and all you've been trough would be in vain if you did that?  
**  
Christian Freeman**: The only thing I did all my life long was, rape, murder, torture, leading gangs and starting gang wars. Thousands of people's life got ruined because of me. The torture that I went through was karma. Trying to cheat on my girlfriend with Sakura got my life fucked up, it was all karma.  
**  
Ace Redford**: It's not too late if you want to turn your life around you know...

**Christian Freeman**: Come on? What do you want me to do? I never even finished high school, I was a con-artist when I was young, I was a leader of a huge gang when I was a teenager, and I was a hitman when I was an adult.  
**  
Ace Redford**: That doesn't have to define your life tough.  
**  
Christian Freeman**: It clearly does.

**Ace Redford**: Just in your head. You just didn't realize there can actually be more to life than power and murder.  
**  
Christian Freeman**: My childhood friend, the person I loved died in my hands because of a gang war. My previous girlfriend was killed by my own hands because of a hit. My mother took her own life when she heard I got sent to Juvenile Hall.  
**  
Ace Redford**: And what are you now Christian? What do you do right now for a living?

**Christian Freeman**: I'm a drug addicted hobo. The only thing I do now is ride on a stolen NRG remembering my glorious past.  
**  
Ace Redford**: I rest my case. If there isn't a lot more opportunity to start over from that rank rather than from the rank of a current hitman, then I don't know where it could be. Right… and how easy it would be to start fresh.  
**  
Christian Freeman**: It's impossible for me. What do you want me to become? A cop? Stop joking…  
**  
Ace Redford**: Oh, believe me I have no more love for corrupt law enforcement officers than I have for gangsters. Ever considered being a salesman? I plan to start a firm myself, that's why I bought this office.  
**  
Christian Freeman**: Ah come on! Me… a salesman? That's a fucking joke.  
**  
Ace Redford**: Arthur is thinking of starting an Ammunation. I think you would fit perfectly there.  
**  
Christian Freeman**: Yes, let's give a drug addict a job in an Ammunation.

**Ace Redford**: Also he's running for president in case you haven't heard. Maybe he can offer you a place in the government.  
**  
Christian Freeman**: Yes, a drugs addict working in the government. That's such an improvement.  
**  
Ace Redford**: Dude, you're on pot. It's shown that it doesn't even give addiction.

**Christian Freeman**: Do you seriously think that I'm only on pot? Also on crack, heroine, weed and LSD.  
**  
Ace Redford**: I seriously think that two weeks or so in rehab would do wonders. I know a doctor that will get them out of your head and most likely bang you 24/7 as well.  
**  
Christian Freeman**: It's been a while since I had a good layed...

**Ace Redford**: Well, you go to rehab, and I'll make sure you get layed. That's if you change those clothes and get a shower tough.  
**  
Christian Freeman**: That's way too awkward, so no thanks.  
**  
Ace Redford**: Your call. But you could still use the rehab.

**Christian Freeman**: The point is, I'm over with fucking chicks that don't love me or I don't love. Last time I tried that my life went to shit. You can thank your ex-wife for that improvement.

**Ace Redford**: What do you know; she does a few good deeds every now and then as well. Unconsciously of course...  
**  
Christian Freeman**: You were right so I guess I should go to the rehab facility then, but only once to check it out because I owe you one.  
**  
Ace Redford**: You owe me nothing Christian, You owe yourself. You'll see it that way one day maybe. Say what… get off the drugs and then give me a call, and then we'll work on finding you a normal job.

*Christian Freeman slowly moves his hand into his jacket and takes out a joint, quickly lighting it using the Zippo lighter and starting to take small puffs from the joint.*  
**  
Christian Freeman**: I needed that.

At this point I actually felt like I was losing all hope for him. But something happened that moment that I did not expect. I was simply standing there two feet from him and looking at him as he was smoking that join, when it actually hit me… I smoked pot before, I had my dark days as well, but the smell coming from his joint was not even remotely that of pot, but that of simple tobacco weeds.

*Ace Redford tilts his head slightly as he looks at Christian and approaches him slowley.*

**Ace Redford**: Alright, I changed my mind... now I want a smoke as well.

*Christian Freeman slowly reveals a shocked facial expression as he drops the joint on the ground and stamps on it with his foot.*  
**  
Christian Freeman**: Oops-… I can't believe how shaky my hands are.

**Ace Redford**: No worries. Jasmine, please do an analysis of the current fumes present in the air of the compound, tell me what you find and leave out the normal ones.  
**  
Christian Freeman**: How come? You don't trust me?

**Artificial Intelligence**: Analysis completed. The only fume that could be detected was smoke that originates from the smoking of tobacco leaves.  
**  
Ace Redford**: You know, I would actually applaud the act if I saw any sense in it.  
**  
Christian Freeman**: Ehh'? What are you talking about?  
**  
Ace Redford**: Nothing... just let me check something.

**Christian Freeman**: Sure-…

*Ace Redford turns around towards the bar; taking the whiskey glass that Christian used to dispose of his first joint, taking out the joint and reaching towards his pocket, taking out his own Zippo lighter and using it to set the tip of the joint on fire. After taking four puffs from the joint, Ace throws it back inside the glass and turns towards Christian.*  
**  
Christian Freeman**: Don't tell me that that is a cigarette too! If it is I'm going to fucking kill that nigger that scammed me!  
**  
Ace Redford**: Sure, you know. I would have thought you at least respected me enough to realize when it's time to cut the act.  
**  
Christian Freeman**: You really are a fucking drug addict…  
**  
Ace Redford**: I had my share...  
**  
Christian Freeman**: Didn't expect to get my cover blown so soon. You gave my quite some information about Sakura and Ryan though. That's probably the only reason I came here. Sorry for being such a liar.  
**  
Ace Redford**: Well. I guess you did what you do best. So what are you planning to do now?

**Christian Freeman**: First take a shower, I'm covered in some fucked up shit. Then put on my own clothes.  
**  
Ace Redford**: Glad to hear that.  
**  
Christian Freeman**: Maybe try and contact Olivia when she's in town. Because man, I haven't had a good fuck in years. And I guess I'll kill Sakura or Ryan when I see them. Not going out of my way to find them though, I'm too lazy for that. But you know everything I said tonight was the truth except for the drugs, homeless thing.  
**  
Ace Redford**: And how exactly do you plan to kill Ryan? He's still the head of the Agency.  
**  
Christian Freeman**: Man. The directors are all bullshit. They are almost never guarded, and just openly walk around. As long as you don't try to find them you can easily catch him. The moment you try looking for him you're fucked though.  
**  
Ace Redford**: Alright, at this point maybe I should tell you just how many relations he's got in F.B.I. and other L.E.O. factions

**Christian Freeman**: Do you think that I care about a few years in jail?  
**  
Ace Redford**: Do you think they would come to arrest you? Or put a bullet in your head?

**Christian Freeman**: A bullet in my head is fine with me too, I already told you about all the shit I've done. I deserve a death penalty, don't I?  
**  
Ace Redford**: I wouldn't know. I don't judge in life or death anymore. I told you, I've put my guns down.

**Christian Freeman**: To be honest if I had nothing left in my life I would put a bullet in my own head. But well, I love driving on a NRG, and I still need to kill two people. It doesn't matter when, sooner or later I'll get them. And except for revenge I don't have anything else to live for.  
**  
Ace Redford**: Let me ask you one thing then. Once you actually have revenge? What's next since there would be nothing to live for anymore?  
**  
Christian Freeman**: Probably death. I mean killing the boss of The Company… I'm quite sure I'll be death after I do that. So why even think about what I want to do after that?  
**  
Ace Redford**: Well, I just hope one day you'll understand you don't really have to lie to me to find something out.  
**  
Christian Freeman**: Do you seriously think that we'll have another conversation like this? I got the information I want, there's no reason for me to have a fucked up serious conversation like this with you.  
**  
Ace Redford**: I wouldn't have thought after the last one either. Yet fate seems to have its own mind.  
**  
Christian Freeman**: There's only one thing I don't understand. How the fucks are you not agitated after all the insults I threw to Sakura? Saying I'll kill her... How the fuck are you not mad at me. Don't you love her?

**Ace Redford**: Well first of all there is the matter of probabilities. There is a small change that you would actually accomplish that. Another thing is... what use would there be in getting mad? As I said, I've put my guns down. I couldn't really kill you to prevent that.

**Christian Freeman**: It's quite hilarious that you think there's a small chance that I succeed. Does she die when she has a bullet between her eyes?

**Ace Redford**: Well I could always go to Ryan if I considered you really had a chance. Or to her and spare me seeing that monster. I am pretty convinced that only telling one of them about your plans would get you six feet under in less than twelve hours. But we wouldn't want that, would we?  
**  
Christian Freeman**: Have you ever considered this? Have you ever considered that she was using you too?  
**  
Ace Redford**: Every day my friend... every day. She's still got my child inside of her for four months. And I still love her.  
**  
Christian Freeman**: And you think that she will just give the child to you?  
**  
Ace Redford**: Well, if she doesn't… I don't really have all those cameras and bugs on her for nothing.

**Christian Freeman**: You actually still got those?  
**  
Ace Redford**: Indeed, all of them, and making more every day She still wears the earrings. You have any idea what it would do in a courthouse if I showed how she and Ryan were murdering people for contracts? Who would that child be entrusted to you think? Her?...  
**  
Christian Freeman**: Man you are fucked up. Oh my god! Do that! That's fucking hilarious! Please sue them. That's going to be fucking hilarious. You know what… I'll be nice for you. Tomorrow I'll go and meet Sakura and talk to her without killing her. I actually want to check out that ''corrupted girl''. If she is really that then I'll let her live. I mean a horrible life is fucking hilarious. At least if that life is from someone else.  
**  
Ace Redford**: You know, I really do intend to bring this in court if I have to…  
**  
Christian Freeman**: Well, I hope that you have a god-father ready for your child in that case, because you'll die. Putting him in jail will surely get you killed.  
**  
Ace Redford**: I'll take my chances. It doesn't have to go that far if she leaves me the baby willingly. After all I am not looking to hide the child from her; I just want her to never leave my side. I can't risk the baby growing up like her mother is now, or being influenced by Ryan for that matter.  
**  
Christian Freeman**: I can't believe that you only think about the baby. The first thing that is on my mind would be getting my chick back. I mean she still wears those earrings right? Knowing that they're bugged. She must still love you.

**Ace Redford**: I think about her every day Christian-…

After that last line, he did something I did not expect. But then again, I learned to expect pretty much anything from Christian. He suddenly charged towards me and punched me in the face, sending me with my back over the desk. Before I realized what was happening my artificial intelligence (Jasmine) was already sounding the alarm and putting the whole lot under lockdown, alerting every Richman in the area about the conflict. I got up rapidly and tried to regain my senses, telling Jasmine not to perform those actions as they were not needed.

Just as I was expecting him to calm down after that, he kept up his guard as if really wanting to fight, giving me short punches every now and then. I remained calm to this and eventually decided to take action. I placed my guns down, but that doesn't mean I gave up every single measure of self defense as well. So I slowly reached behind my shirt, making sure he does not notice this and while using my left hand to keep up my guard, I used the right one to take out my contact tazer and pinned it right to the side of his neck. Given that I delivered a shock to that specific side of his spine, he should have passed out immediately, but instead he simply stopped punching me, looking to me with a sick smile on his face and murmuring a few words. "That's it, don't be such a pussy and stand up for yourself-… There's no way you can get Sakura back if you act like such a pussy like you did just now."

After that he finally fell unconscious to the ground, after being constantly electrocuted while giving that speech. At first I didn't really know what to do with him. Get him to a hospital? Try to get him into rehab just to get some revenge for how he played me with the drugs? Eventually I decided to carry him outside and put him in the back seat of my car (that reminds me I need to get that smell out of the seats). I took him for a drive; eventually we ended up at another one of Tyrone's properties, the former head quarters of the Henchman family. I don't really know why I took him there, maybe it was because of the fact that the Henchmans were not only murderers, but actual cannibals, and there were still corpses left on the lot, some even in the refrigerator, and the whole lot was surrounded by a huge graveyard. I think I took him there because I needed a reminder of why I chose o stop killing people for good, a reminder of what I wanted to avoid.

I waited by the car for him to wake up while smoking a cigarette, I couldn't really stay inside the car with the smell that was coming from Christian, it's bad enough that I had to leave all the windows opened and that smell was still reaching me outside. I will relate to you now the conversation that followed after he woke up.

**Christian Freeman**: Fuck you! I hit you and you fucking taze me! Jesus Christ what a cunt you are! Hmmm… that's actually fucking genius.  
**  
Ace Redford**: The best resolution of every conflict is the one that brings minimal damage to both sides Christian.  
**  
Christian Freeman**: So how did it feel releasing some anger? As revenge you got to let fresh air in this car for ages.  
**  
Ace Redford**: I think you didn't notice that I was in fact calm during the whole thing.

**Christian Freeman**: Man you got to release some anger. Why the fuck do you think I hit you? You are such a huge pussy.  
**  
Ace Redford**: You want to know why me and Sakura really broke up? Besides Ryan that is…  
**  
Christian Freeman**: Sure, why not?

**Ace Redford**: When I came back, not long before you showed up... I was changed. I wanted to leave all that blood and rage behind me. I didn't want any more blood on my hands. I wanted to stop being the judge of who lives and who dies. I found that there is an alternative to all the fighting Christian. I tried to show it to her. But Ryan already got to her and pulled her in the other direction.

**Christian Freeman**: You said that it wouldn't involve Ryan. Boom! Ryan joins the story.

**Ace Redford**: Very well... ignore that. I couldn't convince her to see the way I did. That's the bottom line of it. She was already heading in the opposite direction.

**Christian Freeman**: She saw things the way you do now long before you started. She didn't want to fight. Yet she changed now.  
**  
Ace Redford**: I don't want to go back to that Christian... there is an alternative to all of this. There is peace to be found in this world as well, it doesn't all have to be a struggle. I know, I've lived it, I am living it. Hard, but I am doing my best.

I think that was actually the only time he listened to me and to what I had to say since I saw him today, as it was the only time when he didn't give me an instant reply, as if this time he actually really considered my words and thought about how it would be like. He asked me to drive him back to San Fierro afterwards. And he kept silent trough half the drive, until he opened up a final exchange of words.

**Christian Freeman**: So, Ace… what do you actually think about Ryan?  
**  
Ace Redford**: That he's a murderer. And that he corrupted the person I still to this moment love with all my heart.  
**  
Christian Freeman**: And what do you think about me? I'm the same as him aren't I? A murdered, I tried to corrupt the person you love. Why do you not hate me but you do hate Ryan?  
**  
Ace Redford**: You bailed out before doing that and you know it.  
**  
Christian Freeman**: Actually Sakura screwed me over before I managed to do that-…  
**  
Ace Redford**: Yes… maybe the reason I hate him is because he actually succeeded.  
**  
Christian Freeman**: And how do you think about Sakura? The old one… the corrupt one…

**Ace Redford**: I still love her. But I am well aware that she is on her way to killing that innocent girl I fell in love with all those years back.

**Christian Freeman**: Let's say she turns corrupted completely and follows Ryan to become a hitman. Would you still love her?  
**  
Ace Redford**: I don't know. I haven't figured out a way to stop loving her to be honest. So to answer your question, yes… somewhere in my heart I still think I would love her.

**Christian Freeman**: How does she think about you now? The old secret agent, government assigned assassin… and the new pussy Ace?

**Ace Redford**: Well she stopped me from killing myself three days ago… long story. So I still think she cares to a degree.  
**  
Christian Freeman**: And how do you think she thinks about Ryan? You've been with her since childhood so you must know the answer.  
**  
Ace Redford**: I think she might actually love him. She tells me that he is supportive with her and cares about her… That's why I don't step in.  
**  
Christian Freeman**: Aaaaand… that's wrong! Sakura wears the earrings with your cameras inside while Ryan commits serious felonies in front of her. And she loves him? While showing you all that? Does that add up to you?  
**  
Ace Redford**: She most likely wears those earrings because she knows as a last resort I would be there to save her if I saw trough those hidden cameras that she was in danger.  
**  
Christian Freeman**: Man, you are an idiot. She would at least hide the earrings in her pocket in that case right? So she can still call for help when needed.  
**  
Ace Redford**: Okay Christian... Let's say she still has feelings for me... What do you propose I do?

**Christian Freeman**: For now nothing. If you ask me it's farther than your nose is long. Do you want to know what I think about all this?  
**  
Ace Redford**: Shoot.  
**  
Christian Freeman**: Did you ever consider Ryan forcing her to be with him? Let's say something like "I'll kill your husband if you don't". If you count everything in then it adds up to something like that, wearing the earrings in front of Ryan, saving your life when you try to kill yourself.  
**  
Ace Redford**: Let's say it's a possibility. What do you suggest I do?  
**  
Christian Freeman**: You know the thing I said about not having anything else except for revenge… that's still true. Let's have a talk the next time after I speak with Sakura. Because there's no way she'd seriously fall in love with Ryan. She'd either make use of him trying to get in the company or something like I said earlier. I mean there's one thing I know for sure, that she had no reason to use you. I mean you were an asshole, overprotective, a pussy, a gang leader. While she was a pacifistic bitch that sometimes used people. But there was no reason to use you, so it's clear that she actually loved you. So why would she leave without a warning, taking a 180 degrees turn and become a hitman? While she is pregnant of the man she loved and took care of her?  
**  
Ace Redford**: Security? Power?... In her mind those people that she is asked to kill actually deserve to die. She already feels like she is above the law, and she knows who deserves to live and who deserves to die.  
**  
Christian Freeman**: Power-… Hmm, I had quite a lot of power back then. I even had a Hunter and I showed it to Sakura. So it isn't power or security, otherwise she'd be on my lap now-…  
**  
Ace Redford**: Alright! Let me ask you something now… let's say it's true, and she still loves me, and I know I still love her. And you are trying to find out if it really is so-... Why? Why help us?...

**Christian Freeman**: That's something I'm not willing to answer. I mean I can't just blow away all my secrets, can I?-…

After that he kept blabbing a lot of things about how things he does don't make sense and stuff like that just to get me distracted from what I just realized that moment. And that was the fact that all along, even given all his lies, threats and offensive language… Christian-… the hitman, the criminal, the gang leader, the murderer-… actually cared about the love story between me and Sakura. He actually wanted to help. So as I was saying in my precious entry my dear reader… hope remains. Even for those that you would expect it less.

After that I dropped Christian off at the V.I.P. Club in San Fierro and headed back to Missionary Hill. Amusingly enough, I arrived just when Tyrone finished his deals with the Richmans and was heading back as well, so we ended up parking our cars at the same time. I find his timing hilarious, as he managed to arrive at the end of all the action. Nevertheless, I will be putting him up to date in the morning.

There is one thing that Christian said today that is still on my mind… why is Sakura really still wearing the earrings she's got from me, knowing that I can see and record everything she does. Was Christian right after all? Does she really want me to see something? Well one thing I know for certain, I won't be getting any sleep tonight, as I will be looking over all the videos recorded by Sakura's earrings in the last week.

* * *

**A note from the author: Please excuse the display of lines and replies between the two characters, only that it would have been hard for me to summarize the whole chatter, so I thought it would be best if I let everyone make their own understanding of the actual dialogue. Enjoy reading.**

**Radu George**


	4. 26-April-2014

26-April-2014

It's been 48 hours since I last slept. All I did since I made my last entry was watch the videos recorder by Sakura's earrings. I don't know why this had to happen; I don't know why Christian came along. I was actually prepared to let it go, to live my life without her and only focus on our child. But now after seeing only her for 48 hours, I think differently.

Christian wasn't right. I don't think she actually wanted me to see something in those videos. But he was right to some degree as well. Things just don't add up, some things just, simply, don't make sense in their actions. And now, from Christian's initiative I am starting to see it. Sakura wanted protection, for her and for the child. It didn't matter for her what she was doing with her life as long as the baby was safe. But there is more to this story that not even she knows, and I am wondering if she would see Ryan as such a refuge from harm if she knew…

Ryan-… Ryan Bando. I am starting to see that he's bet his chips on one hand, that although so far has served him well, it might turn out unlucky when not all the other players fold as he originally planned and there are more than two cards to be showed on the final table. I only now start to understand what Christian's return actually means. Not only that Ryan didn't kill him, but Ryan lied. And he lied when his job did not request it of him. Two days ago I told Christian that he did what he did best when he pretended to be a drug addicted hobo, but now I come to wonder, would only Christian be beast at lying?

Ryan did not only lie about killing Christian, but he told Sakura a lot of other things that aren't true, and I should have figured that before. I should have figured it out when Olivia tried to get the two of us back together and Sakura actually considered it. It's not the fact that Sakura considered it, but the fact that in that moment Ryan freaked out so bad that he could have been heard shouting at Sakura trough her phone while speaking to Olivia. You don't freak out in moments like that, not if you have nothing to hide, not if everything is already on the table, but Ryan held back something, and as much of a hitman he is, he didn't manage to camouflage that.

Ryan knew Sakura was looking for protection, she told him that. Yet he didn't care at starting if she loved him or not, he just wanted her to be his. So he took up the seat of the protector as long as it was what she needed. In one of the videos I've watched so far, there was a scene in which Ryan tells Sakura that he already removed several hits that were on her. Then something that Christian said struck me… Christian told me that he killed his own girlfriend over a hit, yet Christian was even lower ranked than Ryan Bando. Then again, who would place a hit on a hitman's assistant? Thing that Sakura did not exceed at hiding, given that she needed people to fear her.

So I had to makes us of all the relations Arthur had in the hitman agency to eventually be told, face to face, by hitman… that Sakura never had one hit on her head in the last two months. Here all the detective work I've done so far, all the training I had in reading people from their actions actually played off. Here I understood that I didn't lose, not in a fair fight at least. And so I came across the word "fight" coming from me for for the first time in one month, and I understood that even if you want to avoid all violence, eventually you still have to fight one way or another. The human is violent by nature; some say we are born to be violent. Even if it is violence of words, of fists or simply of thinking.

But one thing I know… even though sometimes you have to fight when you're a man (Kenny Rogers - Coward of the County); you choose the way you fight. And I choose a way that won't get anyone killed in the process. I choose the truth as my weapon, as even if I were violent right now, it would still be the best weapon at hand anyone in my position could muster. I won't go hunting Ryan down; I will prove who he really is… how he really got to the lead of the Hitman Agency… how he never actually killed someone unless that someone was indeed defenseless against him, and in the other cases sent someone else after the target, as he did with Christian.

Sakura wanted security for her and for the child… it might have been my mistake not showing to her how much security stands behind me, and all the security that kept my hand steady on the trigger of a gun all those years. Maybe Tyrone was right, maybe no matter what comes in between or how much we all change, one day we will have to finish what we started. And if we started it in blood, how else could we end it? Maybe it was time for one last showdown… Richmans, Freemans, hitmans, Saints, Syndicates, Hilltops… maybe it was time _Anonymous Agreement_ made its long waited return.

Sakura hasn't married Ryan yet, and even if she would have done it, a "Yes" to Ryan in front of the altar at the moment would be as good as a Yes said at gunpoint. I'm starting now to understand that even if the time is very late, it is not yet too late. But one thing is for certain, I won't make things right this time without a fight.


	5. 29-April-2014

29-April-2014

I did a lot of mistakes along the way, I get that now. I made a lot of mistakes when I was younger, I made a lot of mistakes when I was with Sakura, and now I made the mistake of thinking I could still help her. But now I come to understand, that maybe with or without Bando's interference, she's became the soul thing we both promised to rid this world of. She's became a killer… one that does not do it for justice or for other people, but one that kills for her own interests and well being.

Yesterday me and Christian decided that we had enough evidence to prove how much Ryan lied so far, and we called Sakura to meet us so that we could make our case. Even after seeing Christian alive, and arguing with him for some time, and after bringing evidence that Ryan lied when he said he had a medical condition that will have him dead in two years, even after telling her all we managed to find out, she seemed careless to the problem. At least now I know one thing, she doesn't really love him, she's with him only out of interest, and the way I see her now, I think she can just as well get married with him and have another five kids just out of interest.

But it doesn't matter anymore, as I saw Sakura pull out her gun and shoot Christian over simply not wanting to drive us out. She is lost. And that is not all… she told Ryan about Christian, and they both went after him. Fortunately he survived, but now I know they are after us all and this just about end all the peace I was trying to keep. They went after us, and however much I once cared for Sakura or how much I care for our child, I can't allow them to go killing everyone that was there for me in the past. There is a limit even to this kind of immunity. And she just lost it, this means war.

I made the mistake of giving Sakura my journal two days ago after I made my case with Christian clear. I now realize that was something wrong, I shouldn't have let her see those pages, but I wanted to make sure once and for all that she knew exactly where I stand and what was the truth behind Ryan. Although it might have been a mistake, at least now I am with my conscience clear, knowing that I did all I could to try and open her eyes. Yet it was not within my powers from the beginning. I feel better now that I got that done as well, and that I am sure she is a lost cause. Although I couldn't fully dispose of my former wedding band, I managed to get it off my finger and on a silver chained necklace around my neck that I can easily hide behind my shirt. I started dating again yesterday, I am moving on.

I don't think the way I thought three days ago, I miss the rush of adrenaline running through my body; I miss that over abundance of control when everything around me was in chaos, yet I controlled that chaos indirectly; I miss the old days. But if I am to go back there again, then I will do it my way. I will do it like in the days before all this happened, before all the dramas, when two people rode out on a Sanchez with no piece of armor, nor military grade weapons… just a semi-automatic and a half full gas tank. And like that we charged trough the lines of full gangs or factions, took them down one by one and lived to tell the tale. Those are the days I want to bring back, and that's why I drove to Los Santos today to one of our old storage warehouses and opened a garage that hasn't been touched by somewhere around two years. And then it was, just where I left it a couple of years back… my _Phoenix_.

The very same car I was driving when I first saved Sakura, or did my first hit and run. Although that car costs almost nothing at this time, back then it was the car that I drove right in the jaws of danger and after taking countless bullet rounds and loosing sometimes all my tires, I still escaped with it in one peace. Right now all it needs is to get to a service, and a new paintjob…

I am taking my guns up, but this time I am not doing it for personal glory-… well, maybe just a bit. But there are some people out there as my former wife that consider they are doing justice, when in fact all they do they do for themselves, and ruin the lives of others in the process as if they couldn't care less about casualties. Well, it was time someone fought for all those casualties… it was time someone taught them what justice really means.

Anonymous Agreement has been summoned, now we wait to see who answers the call.


	6. 1-May-2014

1-May-14

The thoughts I've been having recently begin to remind me more and more of the old days, of the good days. Making up plans with Arthur and Tyrone that to others might sound close to suicidal, yet after two years since our paths crossed once more here in San Andreas, to us it still all sounds more than possible, quite highly probable. Anonymous Agreement is on its way back. We all agreed to it, because like it was when we first formed it, enemies keep rising around us, and we find ourselves surrounded with a shrinking list of allies. Only because the need was great, _The Agreement _was called for once more.

Now all we have left to decide is not who we will work with, but who is still worthy of working with us. There are still remnants left from the first pact, but now they are scattered, and some no longer trustworthy. We need to choose our recruits well, because we seem to find ourselves and San Andreas for that matter splitting into separate sides. On one end there is Ryan and all his bootlickers. Ryan Bando declared war on us after he tried to kill both Tyrone and Christian, who is not yet once of us, nor is likely to be, but Christian always took our side when it came to me or Tyrone, and even though his nature of betraying, he never backstabbed us, not even when he had not only the chance, but a lot of potential profit from it.

However, like before, we have an advantage. Neither Ryan, nor anyone in San Andreas knows that we are coming back, or what we intend to do. Secrecy was always the key element in the Agreement, acting from the shadows, never letting our enemies have any idea who is coming after them until they find themselves on the ground bleeding to death. As long as Ryan doesn't catch scent of our union, then it means that we are better even than the Hitman Agency, because we know about the Agency, they don't know about us.

But still, we need to expand our influence carefully, as we are aware that Ryan Bando has a lot of influence as well, and if anyone from Bando's area of influence finds out of our existence, then we lose all the element of surprise. It will take time for us to gain influence and power that way, having to measure each of our move ten times before actually doing it, but if we do this by the book, it will be worth it in the end. The Richmans already provide us with all the influence in San Fierro one could gain, as they already own more than half of it. That's why this city will start as our main capital. While other organizations start with only one building for a head quarters, we start with a whole city filled with them.

Our next move will be to expand outwards, towards Los Santos and the surrounding areas; also we will turn our attention towards the desert. At the moment all the influence we have in Tierra Robada lays within the Armed Forces, but we have no actual bases of operation or secret hideouts there. I need to be careful with that area tough, as my former wife is very highly ranked within the Emergency Service of Tierra Robada, yet I do not fully know her influence outside the ES. Also I know she has now become a liability, so I can classify her as one of Bando's top informants. And here me and Sakura find ourselves on different sides for the first time. Now although a conflict rarely ends with one side fully decimated, I have a feeling that only one of us will see the end of it, yet I cannot predict which of us will still be standing.

I met up with the woman I am dating again today. After a considerable amount of lemonades, tequilas and light beers, we decided to head over to my place. Tyrone told me to look out for the house while he was away with business, so I figured he wouldn't mind if I invited her as well. Now after all this time since Sakura and I stopped actually being together, I start to understand that there is another kind of hunger… the hunger for human touch. Desire, up to a point that is different than before. Yet after we did it, she noticed the silver chain that holds my wedding band and asked me about it. So I gave her a brief description of what went on between me and my former wife, leaving all the details aside for now.

I don't think I will be seeing her too often anymore, as even though I am likely to become a single father, I told her that I am not looking for a committed relationship right now, so unless she wants us to become 'friends with benefits' or really wants to start an actual relationship with someone that will have a child to look after soon enough, I doubt I will be going out with her much often. But still, I am not saddened by the thought even one bit, because this showed me not only that there are women out there that might be interested in me, but more important it showed me that I am managing to move on.

I had the most wonderful surprise later this day when Tyrone called me and told me he had something for me. He actually managed to hook me up with a huge house in Ocean Flats. It's got a good sized garage, a pretty large backyard good for inviting friends over to a grill or play some games, both the interior and exterior of the house are freshly renovated, it's got a lot of balconies good for having a lot of plants or sunbeds to lay on and drink lemonade while looking at the sea… oh, did I happen to mention the fact that my neighbor that lays on the other side of the street is the ocean? After I choose what furniture I want to install and finish all the decorations, that beach house will be a Heaven on Earth.


	7. 3-May-2014

03-May-2014

God this was a full day… maybe that's the reason for which all of Missionary Hill is under lockdown for the night. I don't think I had so much action in months. Funny thing at starting it gave all the signs of being a calm day… I, Arthur and Tyrone worked on establishing some new contacts in Tierra Robada; also we got our eyes set on a potential emplacement for an outpost in that state. After that we didn't find much to do so we simply decided to drive around San Fierro with some 'new bloods'. However, I thought I'd use this window to do something else…

Sakura eventually decide to take off the bugged earrings she had from me, at Bando's initiative of course. I didn't really feel bad about it; however I was losing a source of information. But I didn't think about it too much, I knew eventually he would get her to take the earrings off, I am actually surprised she kept them for so long. So I thought I'd ask her to give me those earrings back… it wasn't like I couldn't get another pair, but I figured I could use them meeting to see if she thought about how we are going to proceed with the child care. After texting about it, she said Ryan wants to be the one that drops them off. I refused, not only that it was against my intentions, but I didn't want to see that guy's face even if he was the last human being on the planet.

So I told her I want her to drop the earrings off, and I don't want to see Ryan anywhere close. However she kept refusing, stating that it is not alright with him. Only at that point I realized that he was most likely making another scandal out of it. And boy did it give me satisfaction, thinking about how he turns into a control freak, but even more the fact that he is really that jealous and afraid of the idea that she might come back to me that he wouldn't let her see me alone. But still, after that satisfying thought I realized that if he keeps on like this, I will not be able to see her and discuss important matters about the child. So I kept on asking her to come alone, I even threatened her to go to the police if she doesn't do so.

Eventually they turned up at Missionary together, however they didn't even approach the front gate, instead they waited on the property next door which is a radio station. I didn't even realize that while I was texting her from my office, Tyrone and a few other new bloods noticed their presence next door and went over to them, still having in mind the thought that I raised Sakura's immunity after she and Ryan went after our allies. It didn't take long until Ryan felt threatened and called for back-up. Another car and a motorcycle soon showed up, and that was enough for Tyrone to feel threatened.

However, when Tyrone called for back-up, it wasn't only two cars… tree Ranchers and two fully loaded helicopters got to the property at Missionary in less than two minutes, with one call, all of hilltop was at our gates ready to pick a fight. Ryan was obviously outnumbered, and given how Hilltop likes to answer to back-up calls, heavily outgunned. Yet seeing all of this from my office I decided there doesn't have to be any bloodlust, and even if we were in clear advantage, this didn't have to be our decisive showdown, time wasn't right.

So I went outside in the middle of the two sides that were about to start an all out gunfight and went straight for Ryan and Sakura. Ryan had the earrings out, asking me to take them. I agreed to take it and end this problem here, as long as he took his men off our property without a fight. He agreed to that, it wasn't in his advantage to pick a fight either way. However, just when I taught there would be no fight… something unexpected came up.

Apparently someone that was not accounted for on either side decided to call the police after seeing all the guns and people gathering up. So the next things we know the sensors placed around the property go to blue, which indicates that police factions are making their way up the hill. After taking a better look we noticed that five police squads and an armored truck were about to engage us.

So at that moment each side had to choose, we would have either fled, which is not something either of us does, we could have fought each other (all the while each of us fighting the police as well), or we could work together and stand a better chance against the L.E.O. forces. Ryan wasn't stupid; he was even the one that asked for us to work together. Tyrone agreed to this, he didn't want to suffer casualties either. SO we closed the gate, turned on the electrical fences to full power, placed our vehicles so that we could take cover from the main while snipers climbed on the roof to give us eyes on the entire hill.

Ryan didn't waste any time before running for field commander, telling everyone what to do and where to aim. I didn't really have anything to say against it, as I was taking my focus off everything else and calming myself, I was about to take sniper position on the roof, and I was having a hard time not giving Ryan a bullet as well.

No one really knows who fired the first shoot, all we know is that the following minute the police barricade formed in front of our gate started screaming out in weapon fire, and our response was just as intimidating. It was the first time in a long time when I found myself in a confrontation of that scale, yet I was having one of the most important spots on the chess board, so I couldn't afford to lose my temper. Slowly I started taking out the S.W.A.T. sharpshooters that were so poorly positioned on the property next door that even someone that was half blind could have spotted them. After taking care of their snipers I turned my scope towards the street. The police never even got to touch the gate, after 3 minutes they were so afraid to raise up from behind the cars they were using as a barricade that they didn't even give any more suppressive fire.

At that moment one of our new bloods made a bold move. He took two gunners that were assigned to him and went out the property trough the back. He took those two with him and sneaked behind the police line. With the snipers taken out by me, they had no problems coming out behind the rest of the cops and open fire from a spot that offered our enemy no protection whatsoever. That was likely the decisive move of that confrontation… and although so far I didn't really trust or give credit to the new bloods, this Michael Hound managed to catch my eye with that inspired move.

With Hilltop there it was an easy win, at the end I simply found myself picking up the cops that were attempting to flee on foot. God did that make me feel good… that's what I always enjoyed, hunting down a moving target… I always loved the very calm sensation of anxiety it gives you.

After the fight was over, Hilltop and Ryan's men left. Ryan approached me with a genuine smile on his face. I still kept my cold expression; it actually made me wonder if this is the first victory in battle he ever achieved. What was really giving Ryan that smile was the fact that after fighting with me, he actually taught he would get on my good side. So we started talking, I found it amusing that after the last cop was down and we approached each other, all the other ones involved stopped whatever they were doing and made a circle around of us, watching… as if seeing a lion and a tiger entering an arena.

And that was a mistake… while he and I were talking, and everyone else watching us as if enjoying a good soap opera, no one noticed the fact that the San Fierro Police Department along with the FBI and whatever else L.E.O. forces they could muster, were getting ready for a second strike. And it hit us hard… Hilltop already left and getting them back would mean time for them to refuel the helicopters, not to mention their ranchers came out of the first wave as beaten up as scrap yard cars. This time they had snipers placed in more strategically positions, more armored units and air support. The moment we saw a Hunter approaching our airspace we were sure, this was not something we could fight off.

So with a lot of suppressive fire and all the tricks we could come up to, we managed to make it down the hill trough the back and get to our cars. We all regrouped at Zombotech, our main stronghold in San Andreas. Zombotech is a secret research facility currently in the property of the Richman family. Although we don't use it as a main base, it is our greatest stronghold. That building has so many defense systems that with 20 men we could hold off the army for a week if they wouldn't bring in heavy guns.

Ryan and Sakura eventually showed up as well. Sakura wanted to tend to the ones that got injured, and Ryan wanted to finish that talk he had with me. I don't think I have the energy to write down the entire conversation, but what I can say is the fact that I screwed up during that encounter. I got cocky, or else I can't explain why I told Ryan in the face that if I ever needed I would use the videos I have from Sakura's earrings to show the world who he really is…

That might have been a mistake, as I just took the ace I had in my sleeve and waved it around the whole game table. We will be staying here at Zombotech for the night until Missionary gets clear. This is not all that happened today… Christian came up with a plan, but I will not write those events down until tomorrow when I have all the variables.


	8. 4-May-2014

4-May-2014

We are stronger than before, but our foes seem to be keeping up the pace… and here we find ourselves locked in combat once more. If you ask me, I am surprised we are still standing to this day.

Hilltop gave the call; it was time we repaid their services from the day before. _The 'New Hilltop'_, the private army that helped us defend The Hill have conflicts of their own. Something happened to what all of San Andreas knew as the Hilltop Farm sometime while I was away. The leader of the original mercenary army got backstabbed by his second in command, and so he claimed control over the organization. However, some of the soldiers did not recognize that betrayer as their leader, so the group split in two. On one end there is the one that backstabbed the former leader and controls Hilltop Farm, and on the other there is The New Hilltop that are working to build a new stronghold and also reclaim their own hill.

We choose to side with the ones that didn't accept a betrayer as their leader, that's the kind of soldiers we want to associate ourselves with. And The New Hilltop proved their worth to us after helping us defend Missionary. Yet today was our turn to answer their call when they decided to deliver a strike to their former base. We all meet up at the Los Santos International Airport, all of Missionary was emptied, we all came. We thought this would be a good opportunity for the new bloods that fought in the confrontation with the police the other day to get a scent of how it is to be on the offensive as well.

I never really took a good count of how many people were on our side, but what I know is that we filled a cargo airplane up to the point where it barely managed to take off. Hilltop Farm is an impenetrable fortress by ground; their defensive walls are as high as a 3 story building, so we had to attack by air. I still recall the moment the cargo doors opened and the signal light turned green… it was time to jump. The first ones that touched the ground were the first to get gunned down from tree different directions, however I was smart enough to land in one of their defensive towers and use it as a gunning position.

I provided cover for the rest of the troops that were descending upon the base, but before everyone was on the ground fighting, I heard a noise that I can recognize even in my dreams after serving in the war. Hilltop is known for its air superiority that can overrun even Tierra Robada's air forces, and the sound I was hearing was that of a Hunter helicopter that was just taking off. So I instructed everyone over the radio to head for cover, and they found that in one of Hilltop's garages where they prepared for their last stand.

The problem now was getting there myself. I didn't waste time with all the stairs of that tower, instead when I was half way down I jumped on the roof of a small building just behind the garage and worked my way down. However, I didn't go unnoticed by two enemy soldiers. I knew I was followed around the corner, but except giving them some suppressive fire, there wasn't anything I could do to win if I were to stop running and face the two. Luck has it that the moment I came around the corner, I saw 4 rifles aimed straight towards me. It didn't take me more than 2 seconds at best to throw myself to the ground and clear the firing trajectory towards the two soldiers chasing me that found themselves blasted with gunfire the moment they came around the corner.

Michael Hound was there, along with another new blood and two friendly Hilltops. I don't think I would have made it to the garage if it weren't for their cover. Once we found ourselves inside the garage we worked on securing the entrance and tending to the wounded. The enemy tried to break through our defense and clear the garage out several times, however with mercenaries and war veterans on our side that never happened; we gunned down everyone that tried to come inside. After the last wave we found ourselves alone inside that large garage for some time, it was then that our Hilltops started calling the retreat. We were lucky to make that garage our last stand, as at the other end of it there was a tunnel leading down and exiting right behind the base.

We decided not to take the tunnel all at once and cover each other's retreat. Tyrone took the first group out with most of our men so that they can bring an evacuation party to us, so we didn't have to run off on foot. I however stayed behind with Michael Hound and a few friendly hilltops. We held that garage trough another two waves, but after the second we realized that we either back down now or have this as our final resting place. Two Hilltops however asked to be left behind. They knew that if we were to all make a run for it we would be chased down, so they stayed behind creating the impression that we were still holding up inside the garage.

I classed those two amongst the heroes of this fight, as me and Michael managed to get out trough the back and made a run for it. However our escape did not go entirely unnoticed, as I heard that sound that still haunts me at nights. A Hunter and an escort helicopter were after me and Michael, and they were closing in fast. I knew we stood no chance if we were to turn around and open fire on those helicopters, so instead I told Michael to run as fast as his feet can carry him. And so we both did, however the Hunter caught up to us. I still don't know why the pilot didn't open fire, yet the machine gun of that combat helicopter never started spinning. Maybe it was because we were already far away from their base and entering Montgomery. The helicopters however chased us even after we entered that small town, so I signaled Michael to split up, after that both of us ran in different directions around the town and hid wherever we managed.

I waited next to a large building for like a minute until I heard the spin of those blades slowly fade away and instruct Michael trough the radio that it was safe to come out. After that Tyrone showed up with the rescue party and we returned to San Fierro to tend to our injured. Two new bloods were lost during that confrontation, the New Hilltop had casualties of its own, and we can say we came out lucky compared to them. Nevertheless, the raid was classed as a victory, as the Old Hilltop suffered twice as many casualties and their base suffered considerable damage from all the grenades that were used. And more over, we live to count another full out gun fight in our dossier.

No celebration followed after that victory, and this was because for some of us, it was simple training. Our new bloods need to know that victory will be expected from them in any confrontation, and this one makes it nothing special, just basic routine. The more experienced ones like me and Tyrone saw this and the events that happened the day before a good reminder of what we were signing up for once more, and what is likely to follow if we keep going on with our Agreement.

* * *

**A note from the author: At this point dear readers you might want to check out Sakura's Audio Log that can be found in the Grand Theft Auto section. It is a similar work with what I am doing, describing events that are happening in parallel with my writing from Sakura's point of view.**


	9. 5-May-2014

5-May-2014

It's nothing personal whenever intelligence and counterintelligence, The Tierra Robada Intelligence Agency taught me that.

Christian came to me two days ago with a very interesting proposition. He said that we need someone inside the Hitman Agency to be our eyes and ears, keeping us informed so that we don't have to wait wondering when they will come for us. So he presented his "idea" to me… we know Ryan Bando requires the videos I have that can prove to the entire world who he really is, so Christian's proposal is that one of us makes a deal with him, pretending to trade the only copies of those videos for a slot in The Agency. However, his proposal sounded to me like a master plan of his own. As I was expecting, when we asked him who would be fit, over more, who would be accepted by Ryan in the Agency, he didn't hesitate automatically recommending himself.

But there was more… simply his tone and way of addressing me gave his intentions away. While before he didn't really care if we trusted him or not, even coming to me and making me believe everything he does is not what it seems to be… this time he actually felt offended when Tyrone asked him to give up his weapon upon entering Missionary, and after that he was almost begging for our thrust. Also, he kind of gave himself away when I decided to tell him I agree to this, he immediately asked me where are the copies of the videos so he could talk to some friends of his inside The Agency so he can work out a meeting. If he already had people inside, why would there be need of a spy?

I think I just about had enough of Christian, he had his uses so far, but I am tired of always having to think ten times who he is working for or what he is really after. Besides, he was there when we retreated to Zombotech after the police raided Missionary… he was there when I was letting it all out on Bando, telling him how many ways I could put him down if I really wanted, defying the leader of the Hitman Agency. But Christian, although claiming to me that he wants them dead, simply stood there and kept telling me that I am getting myself killed by defying Ryan. He had his chance of proving he is with us, yet all he did was piss in his pants when he knew Ryan was around.

But worry not Christian, if you really want him dead, you'll have your chance. Eventually I agreed to his proposal, telling him exactly where I had the back-ups from Sakura's videos, I conveniently left out Jasmine's own database, but I don't think it took a genius to figure that out. However, what Christian didn't know is the fact that the moment after we shook hands and he went out the door, I instructed Jasmine to create another set of backups for the videos and prepare to corrupt the already existing ones. So go on Christian, go to Ryan with what you think are the actual videos he is looking for. You might have a surprise however when find yourself playing a video recorded with the cameras placed inside my office in which you tell me that your only goal left in life is killing Ryan and Sakura, followed afterwards by a version in which your voice is that of Dark Vader's with the Troll Song playing in the background. I don't need to kill you Christian; I rarely take out former associates. All I need to do is feed you to the wolves you pretended to hunt.

I met with Sakura today. I think Ryan was out of town or just really busy to notice, as this time there was no argument and she accepted to see me almost immediately. We mostly talked about the problem with child care, however the subject slipped off every now and then to other problems. I told Sakura about Christian, she seemed to be looking forward to the trick I played on him, also looking forward to taking care of Christian…

It was amongst the first time since me and Sakura broke up that we actually managed to have a relatively decent conversation. She kept raising her tone every now and then, but in rest managed to keep it low. I don't deny that I had to seem apologetic every time she felt offended, but I think it was better this was rather than constantly shouting at each other. So I preferred to give in at some points when it was either agreeing with her or starting up another scandal. Although we didn't manage to reach any conclusion on the child care topic, as I still want the child to stay only with me and she still wants shared custody, at least we managed to carry a decent conversation, and maybe in the future we might even reach an agreement.

The past two days have made me wonder just how much I still think like I used to do when I started this journal. In the two recent confrontations with the police department and Hilltop, I think I killed somewhere around twenty people. I never actually thought about it until now, as the rush of the battleground lasts for me up to 24 hours, it helps me stay alert. And when you are on the battleground, after my or Tyrone's level of experience, you don't stop to think each time you kill someone, all you do is move on to the next target, killing as much as you can so you and your allies don't die there. One thing is for sure, I sure missed the adrenaline rush of a large scaled battle.

I still think about those two New Hilltops that stayed behind inside that garage and covered our retreat… they must have known they were giving up their lives, yet they actually shouted it to us to leave them behind. I remember there was a time even I would have done that, maybe I would still do it, but there would have to be dam' important people to me involved for me to stay behind just to save them. Yet there was a time when I would have done it for anyone else as well… I wonder what happened to those days…

I slept with a New Blood the night after the raid at Hilltop. Although I don't think she minded it, I was kind of harsh with her. I tend to be more violent in bed after knowing I killed someone, over more when I know I killed ten people like they were none. At first I thought she came to me with this so she could get some advantages from the superiors maybe, it was only later that night I realized that actually what drove her to my bedroom were the constant shouts and gun noise that never gives you any rest at starting. It wasn't anything special about me, except that she saw me as someone more experienced with this, and she just didn't want to spend that night alone.

So the following morning I made her a favor and relieved her of duty, sending her home and telling her she doesn't belong here. At first she felt sad about it, but by the time she left I think she actually thanked me in her head. I don't want her ending up making a living out of killing like the rest of us. The initiative I had when I started this journal is lost, but it doesn't have to be lost for everyone around me.


	10. 7-May-2014

7-May-2014

After the police raided Missionary Hill, we never really felt safe there anymore. So today we decided that if we want to be safe at all times while inside our main regroup point, we need to leave The Hill behind. So today we took whatever was of major importance along with all our vehicles and moved them to Zombotech, our main stronghold in San Fierro. With reinforced steel gates, bulletproof glass windows and fingerprint activate elevators; we are safer here than we would be in the F.B.I. headquarters. However, I figured I wouldn't resume only to a few hard drives and cars… so with a bold move we managed to improvise a landing system on the roof of the building similar to that used by aircraft carriers which (putting to challenge my piloting skills) allowed me to land my private jet right on top of Zombotech. That will serve for a fast escape if we ever needed it.

After this we headed out to Los Santos where Tyrone was called by San Andreas News to give a live interview. It was actually entertaining, after reminding him several times not to curse while live on TV. That is. He got a lot of questions addressed regarding his outstanding wealth, pretty much the main reason for which he was called to do the interview. He didn't forget to make some publicity to San Fierro and the Richman family. I didn't bother that he didn't mention anything about the rest of us, as you can't really shout out on TV. about a secret organization.

Us moving to Zombotech wasn't the only relocation done today. I finally managed to put in the furniture at my new house in Ocean Flats. And with all in place, I managed to finally move in. As soon as I moved everything I needed in there, I took a walk to the boat dealership which is just half a mile up from my house and purchased myself a yacht. What else do I need right now? I have a wonderful beach house, a boat and the ocean just next door.

So I sailed out in that yacht for a couple of hours, heading straight towards the horizon on the calm sea waves. Everything was so peaceful at sea… I actually started wondering, why should I even turn back? Or better yet, what am I going back to? Pain, crime, murder… maybe eventually even death. But then I recalled that there are still people that need me there, and furthermore, there is a baby that will need me. And with that I got the strength to turn that boat around.

And here I am, in my beach house writing down the first journal entry from this property. I can't deny the fact that I actually preferred staying at Tyrone's place. As I said in a previous entry, that didn't make me feel so alone. Yet here I am, lying alone in my balcony, looking out towards the sea. I hate solitude, although in my darkest hours it was the first I seeked. I feel sad... although that thought usually associated in my case with disappointment, grief or anger, this time it came alone. I feel sad that things turned out this way, I feel sad that I find myself here, alone, and not somewhere else in the company of someone else. I hope my baby girl will be able to help me trough this hard times.

Oh God and my mind slips to joy whenever I think about her... thinking about holding her in my arms for the first time. I'm sure she'll have her mother's beauty; I just hope it won't be hard when she reaches the age at which me and her mother first met. I still remember those hot summer days spent in Willowfield, where we all started. Me, Arthur, Croxin, Sakura... we used to be really close to each other while we grew up together.

I was the first that moved out of Willowfield with my parents, and left the rest behind. If only I knew what would happen in the future, I swear to God I would have urged my parents not to move and just stay there, all of us together. Maybe that way my parents would be still alive, maybe Croxin wouldn't have got lost on the road ending with him killed, maybe Arthur would be doing better as well, and maybe even if we weren't a couple, Sakura and I would still be close friends. Yet slowly those days of summer faded away into the cold of winter, a cold that we decided to stand up to alone. That was the mistake that tore us apart... if only we would have tried to fight that cold by heating each of the ones next to us instead of ourselves, maybe now we would still be together.

I taught it was better this way when Sakura and I got married, but now I don't know what to say about it... too much pain for only brief periods of joy. But still yet, if a new life will result after this constant collision of particles, of people and of fates, then a new chance is born along with that life. If we couldn't do better, maybe our children will take our mistakes as an example and make better choices in life. I would be at peace with my life if we achieved that.

* * *

**A note from the author: At this point readers, you might want to take a look at Sakura's Nightmare that can be found in the Grand Theft Auto section. However I am warning you, be ready for a very dramatical turn.**


	11. 9-May-2014

*****The following writing is very untidy, written by a shaking hand and barely respecting the spaces between words and paragraphs.*****

* * *

9-May-2014

There is nothing that can save us; there is no point in hoping. There is less than nothing…

I got called today by Jonah Hernandez, Sakura's superior in the Emergency Service… he asked me if I could contact her and tell her to talk to him. Then I got curious and asked him what it was all about. He said it was something that happened after her last visit at the ultrasound two days ago, stating she got irritated and threw her badge away afterwards. However, he didn't seem to want to share too much about the ultrasound, so I figured I would look it up in her medical files. What I found made me very suspicious. There was no record of her having an ultrasound in the past month at the Bayside medical center, so I looked up to see if there was any record at the El Quebrados hospital, but I had no luck there either.

At first I was just afraid that there might be something going bad with the pregnancy, so I decided to call her eventually. She seemed a bit lost after I told her I talked to Hernandez, yet she claimed she didn't see him, nor did she take an ultrasound in the past month, just like the records claimed. Yet what really got me suspicious was when she called Hernandez a lire… wouldn't someone involved in something like this simply take it as a misunderstanding rather than a made up story?

So I kept searching through while trying to keep her on the phone. I eventually asked her if her medical insurance only applied to the hospitals within Tierra Robada. After she confirmed it I knew that she could only have taken an ultrasound in Tierra, which meant that if Hernandez was telling me the truth, then whatever happened was kept off the records. She called me back after a few minutes wanting to know exactly what did Hernandez say. It was obvious she feared he might have slipped something to me, so while trying to keep her on the phone I looked up Jonah Hernandez to see if he was around, but most likely he was out of town as I didn't manage to get a hold of him.

If I couldn't get a hold of him, then neither could she. So I decided to make a bold move in attempt to uncover this as fast as possible. I told Sakura that Hernandez was in an operation at the El Quebrados hospital and that he can't be disturbed until the operation ends. I also asked her to tell him to call me after he's done. Knowing that I would want to talk to him she needed to make sure he didn't slip more information than he already had, so I betted all my chips the chance that after hearing this she would go straight to El Quebrados, even pulling the medic out of an operation if she had to just to make sure I wouldn't find out more. So as soon as I hanged up on her I parked my car behind a store in that small town, making sure it wouldn't be noticed when driving there and entered the medical center, turning towards the waiting room and listening carefully to the door.

My bluff worked perfectly, as within fifteen minutes of walking inside, I heard the door open and Ryan's voice shout out the name Jonah. So I simply rose up from the sofa and turned towards the door in attempt to meet both of them. If only I knew what I was about to find out, I don't think I would have ever seeked out the truth.

The moment I noticed Sakura I froze in place and felt like the whole world started to collapse upon my head. She wore no body armor that could even remotely hide it-… her belly was a less than a quarter the size it was when I last saw her. I couldn't really explain it at starting, I couldn't understand what happened: I couldn't make any connection with what I was seeing, nor could I believe anything. So I simply walked closer to her, only to find myself frozen in place once more after making a few steps. It was as clear as it could ever get-… Sakura was no longer pregnant. In less than a fraction of a second all the connections were made and resulted to only one realization… Sakura aborted the baby. I don't know if we were speaking or not in the meanwhile, I think I automatically answered and placed a few questions, but I don't recall even half the dialog now, as the thoughts on my mind were so loud that they blocked out everything else.

If I wouldn't have been neighbors with Sakura in Willowfield… we would not be here.

If I would have never left then… we would not be here.

If I would have never returned to San Andreas… we would not be here.

If I would have never seeked her out after I returned… we would not be here.

If I wouldn't have taken her away from Mark after she married him… we would not be here.

If I would have broken up with her for good after she cheated on me with Croxin, or Anthony, or Christian… we would not be here.

If I would have never left her here alone for months at a time… we would not be here.

If I would have killed Bando when I had the chance… we would not be here.

If I would have kept watching her at all time to make sure the baby is safe… _we would not be here_.

Yet all those collisions happened, not being able to predict what would come next, and it all led to this… it all led the woman I loved the most in my life killing our unborn child. Amongst the few words I still recall from that moment, I remember telling her that she can have the videos I have with her and that I will delete the rest, after that I asked her to forget I ever existed and to get out of my life.

I started shaking violently as I walked out of there, walking towards my car and collapsing next to it. I still couldn't believe it, I still didn't think it was real, so I took out my phone slowly and pressed her speed dial. My hands were shaking so bad that I could barely do that. I asked her why did she do it, and by the end of the phone call I understood that she did it just to make sure I don't "win" her. She proffered to have her killed rather than having her come to my care one way or the other-…

I had no reason whatsoever for which to live, but I can't kill myself… the first time I tried to do that and Sakura stopped me I was doing it because I knew there would be good coming out of it, not only harm. I knew that if I did it then, I wouldn't end up hurting Sakura by taking the child away from her. Yet now there would be nothing good to come if I were to end my life, nothing bad either… it would simply be irrelevant.

I drove straight home after that. The house I bought for her, yet the house she will never set her tiny feet in. I wanted to burn it down, I wanted to burn everything down, but it was already burning when I got there. Everything around me was burning, and all I could see was Sakura holding my child breathless in her arms at every corner I tried to hide in. I couldn't hide from the flames, I couldn't hide from the images, I couldn't hide from her voice…

This is more than disaster… this is Cataclysm

This is more than pain… this is Torment

This is more than drama… this is Tragedy

This is more than anger… this is Rage

This is more than storm… this is Hurricane

This is less than empty… this is Black Hole

This is more than decay… this is _**–**__**RUIN**__**-**__**!**_

She could have saved all of us, she could have saved everyone! Yet I wasn't there so save her so she could ever get her chance! I wasn't there for the last soul on this earth that still truly needed me; I let her down just like I did with everyone else! And now there is no one left so save any of us, me especially. This is the end of my life, nothing left to fight for, no one left that needs me. No one else that I could ever hold dear; it all ended with her. And it ended before I could even tell her how sorry I am for letting her down… I won't ever get to ask forgiveness for the fact that I couldn't save her!

The flames and images were all around me shouting louder than the engine of a jet plane stuck to my ear. I dropped to my knees in the chaos and forced my eyes shut, wanting it all to end. But then everything became silent, and I could see _her_… I saw her right inside her mother's belly when it all happened… God she was so perfect… it was like all that was ever good and beautiful in this word collided together so tight that it formed this perfect little body… she was more than the words of men or angels could ever describe. Then I saw her open those tiny dark eyes and look at me. And in the second she looked at me I understood she knew exactly who I am and what she meant to me… and I tried to whisper to her "I'm sorry-… I'm so sorry-…" Yet the next moment something black entered the blood all around her and slowly the black liquid made its way to her. I shouted out for it to stop, I tried to reach out but I could do nothing to prevent it… and slowly she closed her small eyes forever and her heart stopped beating as the darkness enveiled, never even taking her first breath of air.

There is no form of justice whatsoever that could punish someone for doing something like that on earth or in the afterlife… there is no punishment that even applied for an eternity would live up to such an act. How could they do something like that? How could they kill her? There is no hope left for this world, there is no hope for life, we never deserved it if we could do something like that.

The next thing I knew the image faded as I felt something hard hitting me. I woke up in the middle of the night lying down face-first on the floor of my room. I wanted to think it was all a horrible nightmare, but that thought was short lived given that as soon as I raised my look I found myself staring at a light blue baby bed just on the opposite side of my bed. That baby bed I purchased just a day ago, and now I fear to look inside of it.

So I simply crawled on the floor away from that bed, reaching towards the end table and taking out my journal. After that I crawled towards the corner of the room as far away from that bed as I could and started writing. Ace Redford… the one that started this journal is dead; he died along with his unborn child. Whoever is still writing in this journal has no name, nor need or desire for one. You think you felt the pain while reading this? You haven't felt one percent of it, and nor do I wish it even to my gravest enemies.


	12. 12-May-2014

12-May-2014

I haven't really seen the sun shine in the past three days ever since I found myself collapsed on the floor of my bedroom. Whenever I woke up from countless nightmares I found that it was still dark outside. Have I been sleeping through the entire daytime? Or not even one day actually passed since it happened...?

I recall I instructed Jasmine to delete all the videos recorded by Sakura's earrings and have the last two backups sent to her house in Bayside trough mail. I just wanted them to leave me alone for good, and I hope that is the end of it and the very last time I ever have to hear or mention them here. I hope that at least now after this much decay it can end…

I don't know what will come next, or if something would ever come after this; or time itself just froze in place. I can't kill myself, yet I sure don't see any reason to live. So one thing is for certain, if they thought I didn't fear death before, this will take it to a whole other level.

I don't know if there's much reason in fighting for anything right now, but I don't think I would even feel enough to actually have the sensation of fighting once more. I will stop writing for a while, as there is nothing more I can say at this point, I will only wait and see if anything comes after this, tough I seriously doubt it. So if I can't catch daylight, I'll just go out right now into the night… I can't stay here anymore.

* * *

**A note from the author: I am sorry to say that after this chapter an undetermined break will follow, as I need some time to think what the character would actually turn into and what might come next. When I return with fresh stories you can expect to see a very changed Ace Redford. Also I feel like mentioning the fact that if you enjoyed the story or the concept it is based on, the ongoing Role Play story on San Andreas Multiplayer is more than welcoming new additions. If you are interested about it, send me a PM on this forum or look for me on Skype (radu_xwing). Who knows, maybe in the following chapters your character might be the first to be mentioned.**


	13. 7-Jun-2014

7-Jun-2014

Death surrounds me like a perfume… and I gladly leave a trace of it wherever I go. I wanted to trace my life back, yet I ended up deciding it wasn't worth it. Why waste time going back? What would I find there? Do I want to see the light at the end of this tunnel? I think not…

The Agreement was stopped in its tracks by its makers, us. As we decided we have no need of it. We don't want to stay hidden anymore, as we have nothing to lose anymore. So instead we enforced the Richman family, making it more powerful than the original Hill Top. And we decided to finally rise up and meet out enemy head on. Yes… we made a full out war with The Hitman Agency. With our former allies, the Freemans as one of our foes now, as there was no question where the Freeman's allegiance stood when facing a choice between us and The Agency that offered them so much power.

We need no allies, we trust no one except the ones like us… the ones that have nothing left to lose. Because fighting on our side means a great risk of losing absolutely everything, your life being the last thing on the list to be taken away.

Today we went after the first target, someone who caused us a great deal of problems in the past… the vice director of the Hitman Agency. We took out all the heavy weaponry, all the armor we could get our hands on (even knee patches), and all the steel plated vehicles at our disposal. We caught our target in San Fierro. He couldn't have made things easier for us… we stumbled across him in Juniper Hill just as we were heading to pick up another Richman.

It took under one minute since the moment we noticed him to the point where the whole street was secured and a perimeter was up. Tyrone had personal issues to solve with the vice director, I just wanted to know him dead, nothing personal on my end. Therefore I kept the street secured as I was charged with the security of this operation, while Tyrone forced the vice director to come with us for "A business talk." And as expected, we took him to our main fortress in San Fierro; Zombotech.

After we arrived there we sealed all the gates and instructed Jasmine to go on red alert mod. We knew they were going to come in attempt to save him. Even more… we were counting on it. So while Tyrone and another one of our guys went inside with the vice director for that friendly chatter, I assigned each of our men to the strategic defense points of the building. After everyone was in place, I went on the roof along with a few others. Tyrone instructed us that whatever happens inside, no one is to enter, so all we had to do is make sure no one got inside. And so we waited for them to come…

It didn't take them long. After a few minutes of our arrival, black cars and helicopters started making rounds around the building, looking for possible entry points. But they had no way of getting in, except if they came with a tank trough our front gate. Yet that didn't stop them from trying. After they scouted our position for some time, they decided it was time to assault from the North – East corner. Five cars stopped on the street next to our as the ones inside got out and got ready to charge as we turned our weapons towards their position, this was about to be the moment of truth.

I was on the roof with an M4 rifle, along with most of the others. After the crowd of people started charging I still held the fire back until I was sure they were in range. And we waited as they advanced… and waited… and waited. We were sick and tired of hiding; we were sick and tired of them taking our men out one by one while they were defenseless; we were done seeing people backstab us over promises of power; we were sick of all the corruption, even the one once spreader by us. This was to be it… half of The Agency and most of the people they had licking their asses against the last ones that had the courage to fight against their oppression.

And one by one they crushed their skulls against out gates as I gave the order to open fire and bullets rained from Zombotech upon them like the sky itself tuned into a machine gun proposed to smite them down. Less than half of the first wave managed to pass the street in order to get to our front gate, only to realize that there was no way to gain entry, and even if they managed to enter, another group of our men were waiting for them with loaded machine guns.

That's the moment when I sensed it… it was coming from beneath, just in front of our gates… it was like I could feed on it… like all my senses suddenly increased and my motivation grew… it was _**fear**_. The ones that managed to cross the street alive and get to our gates found themselves heavily outnumbered by foes they couldn't even get a single shot at and trapped between a steel reinforced concrete gate and a street that was poured with gunfire. And they were terrified… I can actually imagine them realizing they were sent by their superiors in a suicide mission, no one even interested if they were to come back or not, yet now it was too late to do something; now it was too late to quit; too late to deny all the power that was promised; too late to live a peaceful life… as it was just about to end.

So I decided to put them out of their misery and reached towards my sniper rifle. I took aim and made kill after kill, first picking up the ones seeking refuge along the gate line where the machine guns had no angle to get a shoot at, and then I picked up the ones that tried to flee for their lives. Only one wave and the street in front of our building had rivers of blood pouring across it along with tens of bodies lying breathlessly while our defenses held so strong that we suffered absolutely no casualties, not even a broken nail on the trigger of a gun. We had enough bullets to waste, so we made sure that none of the attackers even had the chance to crawl to a rescue after being incapacitated. Even after each of them was down we poured enough clips into each body to make sure that not even Doctor House could do anything for them except wishing them to rest in pieces.

Yet they didn't stop there… after that wave another one came from the North – West corner, yet it had the exact same result, only adding to the corpses and the blood flooding the street. Eventually they decided to attack us from the sky, coming in with helicopters. None of those even managed to get in range of our roof before falling out of the sky to the ground level only to kill even more of the ones that were still lying and praying to God in front of our gate where the machine guns don't usually reach.

I've spent two hours firing my M4 rifle, another hour looking trough the scope of my sniper and picking up any other sharpshooters on the rooftops of the buildings around us or picking up attackers when they attempted to flee. After their attack was fully broken I decided to go downstairs and see what went on between Tyrone and the vice director while we made sure that out of a full army, not even one man managed to step inside and bother them.

And I stepped inside the weapons room with another two of my men by my side only to find Doc (the one Tyrone took inside along with him) finishing the vice director off by emptying a full clip of a semiautomatic pistol in his skull. Tyrone got shot in there; it wasn't too bad, but he needed some help in order to walk afterwards. And so we came out of the battle with an almost flawless victory. Yet we didn't stop there…

After everything settled down we took pictures of each body lying breathlessly on the street in front of Zombotech and had customized carpets and linoleum ordered with all the mass of bodies lying there with their skulls cracked open as a desired image for them, and we will install them in all our headquarters, offices and even our houses; stepping over each and every one of them even when we go to the bathroom in the morning to take a shit.

After the coast was clear we headed back to Missionary Hill to tend to our very few wounded and celebrate our victory, also to make plans for what is to come ahead. We won this fight, but the war has just begun. I didn't notice any other high rank present on the body list except the one Tyrone and Doc took out, neither did I expect them to take things into their own hands and risk coming after us themselves. Because after all… we are fighting a bunch of cowards with lots of influence.

So it is certain that after this bold move they will come after us, and this time it ain't even close to how it was before. The Hitman Agency is based on fear, on the illusion of something that is untouchable, unbreakable… with other invulnerable. And they can't afford to lose that illusion; they can't afford people realizing that hitmans are just as mortal as the rest of us. Because then more and more people like us will rise, until they find themselves hunted at every corner. Yet today we all raised and stood up against them, and here we are… with more than our breaths to state that hitmans can be killed, but with carpets and linoleum to prove it. And not only did we defy them, but we managed to light up a beacon, a beacon that people can see and realize that we can still stand against them, that they are not as powerful as everyone thinks.

And Bando's agency can't afford that… they can't afford us destroying the illusion they worked so hard on creating. So their revenge will come swiftly, and it will come soon. They will try to hunt us down one by one; we will have C4 placed in each of our cars, even on our Mountain Bikes; we will have snipers camping the window of our bathrooms 24/7. Right now, we would be in less danger if we were the most wanted criminals in the whole state.

So while Doc made all of this concerns clear, I stood up the couch and said "Let them come… we've beaten them once, we can do it one hundred times more." It doesn't matter what they do or what they bring against us, as long as _**we **_know we can win this war and don't back up in fear as we once did, we will come out victorious. All we need to do is not believe, but know that we can win this, and wait for others to realize this as well.

The night didn't end here however, as we had an unexpected surprise. After tending to our wounded and having a good time celebrating, I went outside to get some things from my office, only to find Wade Holmes in front of our door, the former leader back when I, Tyrone and Arthur were part of the Tierra Robada Secret Service. He asked to see Tyrone, yet as I knew he was injured and given that we have a hard time trusting even our friends nowadays, I told him that Tyrone stayed behind at Zombotech for the night.

Yet wade wasn't convinced, as he stated that he knew Tyrone was here… one of the arguments he brought up was the fact that his retired FBI truck was parked on the property, and the other being the fact that I was just speaking to him. I wasn't really in the mood for an argument so I simply told him that Tyrone didn't drive the truck today and turned my back on him, heading towards my office. It was only after I made two steps that I realized… how could he have known I was just talking with Tyrone?

So then I turned back to Wade and eyed him up and down. Wade simply stood there and looked me in the eye, giving me a firm nod. He confirmed it to me… he was there to let me know that during the fight in Zombotech, the vice director of the hitman agency managed to put a bug on Tyrone. However, the idiot managed to put the frequency of the microphone right on the Border's Security radio, where our friend Wade got hired after leaving Tierra Robada.

So afterwards I gave Wade a nod of appreciation, saying no more to him. Instead I reached towards my wallet and took out a check paper and a pen, writing "You have a Bug on you, follow my lead." After that I went back inside and offered the check paper to Tyrone, to which he remained silent for a few moments and then nodded as I motioned for the door.

We left the property in my car and started talking to each other about hiding in one of our outposts in Las Venturas, while in fact we headed straight for my beach house in Ocean Flats. As soon as we arrived there we managed to locate the bug placed on Tyrone and made a few shootouts for all the hitmans that were listening before running an ultrasound recording with a noise that could make one go deaf if played loud enough, disposing of the bug afterwards.

We've spent the night at my house while all our bases in San Fierro were on lockdown. We won today, tomorrow we fight once more. And here I am… I keep writing… I keep fighting… I push on, until the last wall goes down or I break against it.


End file.
